Top Menu

What Is It That You Really Want?

I spent three days in Phoenix last week at a meeting, and then I flew home late Thursday night so I could lead a retreat at the shore. The program I attended was excellent, but I had to leave halfway through. The retreat went really well, I think, and I enjoyed it. I think the people who came found it a really valuable program. And I especially appreciated all the help the attendees gave me with the mechanics of the food, and the chairs and books and so forth.

But it made me think serious thoughts.

I don’t ever want to do this again. I missed half the program in Phoenix, rushed around like a crazy woman for two weeks, and drove my secretary-and my daughter- who picked up the pieces – to the brink of sanity. Now, we all are fully exhausted.

But I will never do this to myself again. It will not lead me to the place I want to be.

One of the things I started asking the folk at the retreat, and now ask you is this, “What do you want your life to be like in the next two years? If you were not struggling with the food, eating, or body weight, what would you spend that brain time on?”

Food, eating, and body weight issues can take over our minds and our lives. Obsessions and cravings and negative thoughts grow larger and larger; meanwhile we are missing the opportunities to create in our lives the things we really want.

Now I really wanted the benefits of both these programs, but not THIS way. Now I am exhausted and sleep deprived and not happy with myself.

Rest is the most important part of self-care for me. It is not just sleep; it is doing the things I love to do and having the time to enjoy them. It is moving forward on the projects I want to create in my life (Have you seen my new book, The Abstinence Pendulum yet?) It is being able to take time with friends and family, to read a good book, to support a loved one in struggle, to sit on my front porch and enjoy a gorgeous afternoon. And it is to create, to write, both books and cookbooks. I have wanted to since 2005. It is time.

The past six months have been a bit of a struggle for me; I need to get back on track.

What do you really want in your life right now? Is your food plan enhancing your life? or driving you nutty? If you did not have to think about the food, what would you really want to draw into your life? Remember, if you aim at nothing, you are likely to hit it. So where do you want to go in the next two years? What problems do you need to solve and, if food is a problem, how could you solve that and get it out of your way?

And if you could change, create or become whatever you wanted, other than craving, obsession, food struggle free – what would that be? What is food keeping you from doing or growing in your life? and is that what you really want? What have you always promised yourself you would do, that you can’t do because of some impediment? How can we help you get really free?

Self-care means nourishing the body well, so you have the strength, energy, and brain-power to do what you want. It means treating the body with respect and support. It means exercise or movement of some sort to keep the body strong and healthy. It means managing the negative thoughts differently, and finding our own inner core of wisdom and our own life philosophy.

And for me, right now, it means keeping this short enough that I can get to bed early. Rest well and please write me with your thoughts and feelings about these issues. I love to read your comments. Share this with anyone you like, but remember that the internet is not a private place; I will share the comments here.

Blessings to you,


6 Responses to What Is It That You Really Want?

  1. Jerry Reveal April 9, 2019 at 12:58 pm #


    Another interesting article and very much what I have been thinking about for some months.
    BTW your seminar was very beneficial and enjoyable to Miss Sherri.


    • H. Theresa Wright April 13, 2019 at 5:08 pm #

      I am so glad! High praise, coming from Miss Sherri!

  2. Matt April 9, 2019 at 4:13 pm #

    I used to believe that if I could just get my eating “under control” then the other parts of my life would be fine. However, once I became abstinent and my food issues were black and white, I discovered that the rest of my life was in need of attention. Thankfully, the 12 Steps were there to help me to work on those areas so I wouldn’t be drawn back to the food when life issues inevitably came up. I also discovered that those life issues never truly went away, but abstinence from compulsive overeating and working the 12 Steps to the best of my ability every day, helps me to have some clarity on how to deal with them better.

    The title of this blog asks “what do I really want?”. The answer for me is, and has always been, peace. Peace from the constant obsession from food. Peace from the constant negative self-talk that says that I am not worthy of good things. And finally, peace from the need that I have of always staying busy so I can get in touch with that Power of the Universe that shows me the direction that my life needs to go because I often do not know what’s best for me.

    • H. Theresa Wright April 13, 2019 at 5:09 pm #

      Beautiful. Thank you.

  3. Denise Knuckles April 9, 2019 at 9:04 pm #

    Hi Teresa, I just finished reading What IS IT YOU REALLY WANT ? Wow it really blew me away. I never post, blog or whatever it’s called. I am so old school. I’ve maybe done it 3-4 times in my life. I am 64. But this article stopped me dead in my tracks. First,Thank you for your honest share. You have always been so transparent. That’s one of the reasons why, I always on some level, stay in touch with you and the work you do.

    I am at work and I can’t really dissect and re-read and pray regarding this article right now. However, I wanted to just write something to you now. Later tonight I will go home and it will be part of my study and devotions tonight, tomorrow and actually a lot in the future. You wrote this and you can’t even imagine how much I needed to get this message in my life now.

    I am in my office looking at another message that I got from you ( affirmations on boundaries ) from a class you did about 12 years ago. One of my colleagues framed it and did some art work around it. I read it almost every work day. Thank you for everything you have done. Sometimes we don’t know the differences we have made in the lives of others…………. I just wanted you to know. God bless you forever and a day.

    • H. Theresa Wright April 13, 2019 at 5:07 pm #

      Thank you so much. Be welcome to write if you need more help. May we see the artwork?

Leave a Reply