One of the things that happens when we weigh and measure our food is that we and other people have strong feelings about it. People ask questions, comment, object, are embarrassed to watch, and generally do not understand what and why we are doing this. So, this week I want to give you some suggestions on handling these issues.
It starts with your attitude and beliefs. Accepting the idea that you are physically sensitive to certain foods, is painful. Accepting the idea that these are the foods most easily available to us, is painful. Accepting the idea that your body is different, is painful. And it is true.
And deciding to take care of your body’s needs, even though it may irritate others, is powerful. And – you have probably had so many restrictive diets in your past life – noticing that the purpose of weighing and measuring is to get you the RIGHT foods in the RIGHT proportions, is both powerful and effective.
If your food plan leaves you hungry and unsatisfied for hours, change the food plan. The goal is to get the right proportions of protein, fat and carbohydrate for YOUR body, and the diets and the sensitivities have screwed up your visual measuring system, so you need this process to get well.
HEAR THIS – YOU NEED THIS PROCESS TO GET WELL AND STAY WELL!!!
Now, how do we handle the other people in our lives? Depends on who they are. Your family members have watched you struggle without success for years – probably trying one diet after the other, with temporary success, followed by failure. They have been inconvenienced by lots of these things and see no good and effective results. This means you need to talk with those who will listen about what you are trying to do, what you need them to do to help you, and what you want them not to do.
Some people will be skeptical; some will be resistant. Some will not be able to give you what you need simply because they don’t have it to give. For others, it is truly none of their business, and they need to be shut down and off. Consider carefully what boundaries you need to draw and with whom and how.
Whenever you go out to eat, call first to be sure the food you need will be there. If not, you can bring your own, or bring a fruit or vegetable platter to share.
If you are uncomfortable weighing at a family meal, go into the kitchen before everyone sits down and make up your plate.
If the food is buffet, walk down the buffet line backwards, first, to see what you ought to choose; then take two plates; put the food on one plate, weigh and measure at the table, and leave the excess on the first plate.
What do you wish people would stop doing around you? (Eating your binge foods while sitting next to you) To you? (Taunting you…leaving your binge foods on the kitchen counter)
What do you wish people wouldn’t say to you? (This will never work. You will be back in the food in two weeks.)
Be consistent with your new boundaries; keep it simple and stay calm.
Here are some responses you might want to use when people behave in a way you dislike, about your weighing and measuring:
I know, it’s really weird, but I want to try this.
The dietitian said I need to change my proportions; that’s why I’m weighing.
I know I have tried lots of programs, but this time, I’m gonna get it right.
I’m sorry it bothers you so much.
Why does this upset you so much?
Why not weigh restaurant food? They probably do that before they cook it, and we want our money’s worth!
(For HR) I have a medical condition/disability that requires these accommodations. Please help me.
Why do you want to put that awful food in your body?
Why is it so important to you that I eat in a way that hurts me?
I know that weighing and measuring can be really difficult emotionally, for you, and difficult for others to handle. Remember that last week I asked you to commit to one week of practice, then to do this with every food for three or four weeks. This gives you the opportunity to see how valuable this tool is to you, to learn to do it well, and to confront the problems and issues related to it. But the real goal is to help you get accurate with the volumes and balances of the foods you eat.
Please comment on this and tell me what you think. If you have questions or concerns, please comment or reach out to me individually. Be welcome to share this with anyone you think it might help.
Blessings to you,
PS: Remember the third Saturday Support Group is the 16th, and the Shore retreat is April 5,6,7 and they are both going to be fabulous! Call the office to register!