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The Hardest Part Of Recovery

I was really struggling with what to write for this week’s blog; then the next client came in and I asked her. Her answer was immediate and definite: “Spirituality,” she said, “that is the hardest part for all of us.”

I was astonished by her answer because of what I knew of her life. But as we talked, I realized that all of us have a problem with this issue in recovery.

My client told me she is “starving because her prayer life is so poor. I must insist on my time for prayer, and I must take the time to be silent and prayerful. I know God is there, even if I am not, but too often I am not there.”

So, not to argue about God’s existence, I will share what I have experienced. These are my experiences only, please don’t take them as a judgement on anything you may believe, or any experience or belief you may have.

I have become aware of the work of a man who sells marketing techniques and writes books. He tells of his pattern; he rises every morning and puts on sweats and gets his coffee. Then he meditates for a half hour. Then he writes for an hour. He says that after that, it does not matter what happens in the day, it will all be taken care of. He does this every day, even on vacation. Discipline.

When he gets ready to do one of his five-day programs, he doubles down, cuts off unnecessary activities for five days preceding, spends more than an hour a day in meditation, pays extra attention to his food, and avoids things and activities you and I would call fun. He hyper focuses, and does a very good job. Discipline.

What discipline this takes. I have struggled for years with order and discipline.  But my first interaction with what I thought was God was when I was about eight years old, and there were years when God and I did not speak much.

Now I often like to think of god as George Burns in Oh God, rather than the old man in white robes with His big black book. That never worked for me. Some people think of god as a woman, or as a presence, or as the Great Spirit or as the Universe, or as the Wise Woman who lives within them.

I have found that for me, a disciplined prayer life is essential to my having a life I want to live. Most days, I am up at 6:45, have my coffee by seven and begin my prayer. I read two of those daily meditation books and write God an answer. Some days it is not a polite answer; He does not seem to mind. Then I write a “HONEY_DO list, the things I want Him to take care of for me. Then I write a thank you list of things I am grateful for, at least five – come on, you’re breathing, Theresa – and then I ask Him what He would like me to do for Him today. This helps me, if I get an answer, I feel honored. Then my Prayer Partner calls, and we do our thing.

At night, there is another chapter of a book to read, and another shorter letter.

These activities help me so much to keep my life focused and directed. What works for you?

Attached are two things that may help you; a Prayer for Abundance, which I love, and a list entitled FOOD, FEAR, FAITH which is a list of quotes from the literature.

Please I so want to read your comments. Tell me what you think! Be welcome to share this with anyone it may help, and remember to like and follow Renaissance on Facebook.

Blessings to you,

Theresa

 

ABUNDANCE PRAYER

My Dear Angels,

When I stumble, I want you to remind me that my

being here is not an accident or a mistake.

I have a purpose; a powerful purpose.

And I know that without my being here, the

world would not be the same.

I want to go through each and every step of the

ascension process in the easiest way.

Angels of my Soul, stay close to me.

Remind me when I fall to get up.

Remind me how important I AM for this ascension.

I am needed.

I have never been forgotten.

I am loved.

I want my spiritual connection to be stronger every day.

I thank you that we are now putting the last pieces

of my spiritual remembrance together.

I am walking into the highest and best times of

any life I have ever lived.

I have all of my needs met.

I remember to speak and create my life the way I want it to be.

I am out of debt.

I have abundance on all levels to share with others.

I share love and am loved.

I have a clear and pure spiritual connection and I will never feel lonely again.

I accept heaven into my life now!

Amen.

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!

 

 

FOOD, FEAR AND FAITH

Faith is the antidote to Fear. Faith in God’s power to perform the miracle of contented sobriety in our lives. (Stools and Bottles, p. 95)

I dare to push past the fear because I want what the AA founders promise, and because I believe them when they say that “half-measures availed us nothing.” (For Today, p. 86)

To do what others expect, so they’ll love me, is to play it safe. As I grow, I become more willing to venture out of my safe cocoon. (For Today, p. 99)

As we grow in faith, self-esteem and trust in our Higher Power, we become capable of doing for ourselves what our anticipations could never achieve: taking appropriate action in any situation. (Courage to Change, p. 150)

Courage is fear that has said its prayers. (Courage to Change, p. 1 72)

So many of the choices I’ve made in my life have been reactions to fear. I do something rash or fruitless in order to put a bandage on the situation, because the one thing I most fear is being afraid. (Courage to Change, p. 305)

To worry is to insult God. When we turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand Him, we are free to live without anxiety. (Food for Thought, January 7 9)

In letting go, what do we have to lose except our own weakness? (Food for Thought, April 3)

Fears that remain are often the result of the self-centeredness which prevents us from turning our lives completely over to God. When we give Him absolute control, we have nothing to fear. (Food for Thought, April 5)

Fear comes from projection. (My mind) leaps ahead, conjuring up all sorts of mishaps and calamities. (For Today, p. 293)

I take a fourth step inventory, skimming the surface at first, then digging deeper. The more honest I am, the more freely I breathe. THIS is what I feared? I want to shout to the world: “Don’t be afraid.” (For Today, p. 299)

I realized that I didn’t know how to feel safe unless I was mentally busy. When I worried, I felt involved, and therefore, somewhat in control. (Courage to Change, p. 248)

Compulsive overeating did an admirable job of helping me bury my fears alive. The OA program excels in helping us deal with our fears. (For Today, p. 196)

4 Responses to The Hardest Part Of Recovery

  1. June DiDesidero April 23, 2019 at 3:01 pm #

    Hi Theresa
    Good read.
    I began meditating everyday in the morning 2 years ago after being in recovery 29 yrs.
    Dont know why it took me so long.
    Really makes a difference in my day.
    My difficulty is not asking God to help me w/my food/food plan.
    Heard a member say God is her employer as a mantra. I want to do that.

    • H. Theresa Wright April 26, 2019 at 2:27 am #

      What’s the resistance? What are you afraid of? What’s the worst that could happen if God did your food or if God hired you? What’s keeping you from doing what you really want to do?

  2. Robin Brown April 24, 2019 at 9:56 am #

    Well, a book contract has come into my life. God has used this post to point out that I can’t wait until after I have written the book to deepen my meditation. Thank you!

    • H. Theresa Wright April 26, 2019 at 2:29 am #

      A BOOK!!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!
      You’re welcome, but keep us informed of the progress!

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