My daughter hijacked my computer and wrote this blog for you – hope you enjoy it!
OK, so in my personal opinion Thanksgiving SUCKS! It is still two days away. Are you ready?
I am not. I am feeling a bit overwhelmed by the number of things that need to be done. I have notes everywhere and plans that need to be changed, and things I wanted to do and won’t have time to do. Here are seven principles I will use to handle this mess:
- We are to enjoy fully the blessings we have been given and be grateful for these blessings. Often, I find that things which seem like a lot of work and trouble are the ones to be most grateful for. So be grateful there are thirty people coming to share Thanksgiving with you, or be happy for the peaceful, quiet time to rest and restore. Be happy that you were able to get out of bed… or able to choose to stay in it.
- There’s a management saying I love: do it, delegate it, or delete it. So, make a big list with all the things you don’t have time to do or don’t want to do. When a family member says, surely out of guilt, “Can I help in some way?” hand him/her the list and say, “Yes thank you! Please pick one!”
- Act like a dog… If you cannot eat it or play with it; pee on it and walk away. OK- maybe this isn’t the greatest idea… However, if something is not going to benefit the dog, they leave their name/calling card and move on. If something doesn’t feel right, or a food appears that you know you shouldn’t eat… Do what you need to protect yourself. If necessary, let them know you were there and then leave. Go outside get air, get in your car and go to a meeting, call a friend or go home. (See #5)
- Selfcare is not selfish. I know that with family and everyone at the house, I love it, but I feel like I don’t get ten minutes alone. So, if everyone is coming at noon. 11:30 to noon is mine. I will go lie on the bed, watch funny videos on you tube or read a chapter in my book. IF I need 10 mins at 3 before dinner- I tell my hubby I am going to hide for 10 min. I go up to my room and close the door. If we are at my daughter-in-law’s, I tell her my back is hurting and can I use one of my grandson’s bedrooms to stretch out on their hard floor… The answer is always “Sure!”
- When my kids were little, I would tell them that if they get through the errands without a meltdown, they could have a new book (my son) or a new Polly Pocket (my daughter). Reward yourself with a hot bath, a new book, a Redbox video, or curling up under a warm blanket.
- Get all those feelings out! Use words your grandmother would hate! Use marker, pen, pencil, crayon whatever! Get them out- be as judgmental, angry, spiteful, rude, crude as you need to. Write down a few good things too… Just get it all out! It is OK to have a good cry-I am giving you permission to!
- Find some part of this week that you enjoy! Make it yours. Do what makes you happy. Stay clean, sober, abstinent and solvent. Indulge in whatever form of prayer helps you, is familiar or whatever you choose.
- !! EXTRA!!! Write down ideas for next year. IF you had to leave Great Aunt Martha’s early- write a note in November of next year that you are too busy to go to Great Aunt Martha’s. If you really enjoyed going to the grocery store at 10 PM for fruit or milk- write that the grocery store was empty at 10 PM…Write what worked and what did not work. This way next year, when the memories are gone, you will have a head start on enjoying the holidays.
Blessings to you,
Cathie for Theresa
PS Don’t forget! There is a poll on the Renaissance Facebook page, asking you to choose the kind of butterfly we should put on our new bags! 1 or 3 butterflies! Please be sure to tell us what you think before my elves get hard at work! They would appreciate it!
PPS And Marty Lerner is coming to the Third Saturday Support Group on December 21; just what you need to make it through the last holidays – be sure to join us!