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What is a strong recovery program? How do you work one? How do you use it to get what you really want in your life?

There are four components: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual. We need to look at all four, but not necessarily all at once.

My favorite adviser used to say that in school, we get the lesson. Then we get the test. Whether we pass the test or fail it, we get the next lesson. In life we just get the test. Learning the lesson is optional, but we will continue to get the test until we pass it and learn the lesson.

This time of year is the perfect opportunity for reviewing and learning the lessons. We need to get organized, get in gear, and get lots of stuff done. You may be feeling overwhelmed, stymied in certain parts – or all areas of your life. And some of the problems are the same as last year and the year before that and the year before that…. or maybe the problems come in groups for you and you find yourself in the same situation over and over, and eating over it again and again.

What do you need to do to stop this?

You need to learn to see the problem before it has time to hurt you.

You need to decide that you don’t want this pain any more.

You need to commit yourself to learning how to manage these foods, feelings, and situations without letting them hurt you.

You need to practice stopping it.

You need to surrender the idea that other people will not change for you.

You need to take action consistently.

When a part of your brain speaks rudely to you, you need to tell him/her to put a civil tongue in his/her head or to find somewhere else to live.

And when the powerful painful feelings come up unbidden, triggered by a family situation, that keeps repeating every year, or by a book or magazine or newscast with unexpected information, released and present because you aren’t hurting yourself with food, you need a plan to take care of yourself. You always ate in a particular way to control them, then both the feelings and the food got to take advantage of you.

You may curl up in a ball and cry.

You may reach out to other trusted people.

You may call in your Higher Power and his angels.

You may review the situation with others you trust and ask if the person you were at that time could have changed it.

BUT>>>>>You must protect yourself.

Other people who don’t want to change, don’t want to understand, don’t want to accommodate your needs, get firm boundaries drawn with them.

And Aunt Tilly may need to deal with your bringing your own food, or arriving after dinner.

Your mother in law may need to no longer be told your secrets or asked for her opinion.

Your family’s religious observances may need to be adjusted.

This is why I always teach a support group at this time of year. It is the hardest possible time for all of us because so much around us is changing so quickly – weather, school, children, people, work, prayer, meditation, holidays – they are all up for reorganization. If you want to join me this Tuesday on Zoom at 7pm, you are welcome. Just call and make your reservation (610-275-3699).

But do pay attention to the changes you need to make in your life to take better care of yourself and your recovery. Do what is right for you first! Do what supports the person you want to become! Do what your Inner Core of Wisdom knows is best for you!

Blessings to you,



  1. Anita October 11, 2018 at 2:07 pm #

    Good one! Thanks!

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