OK, says my client. I have read your blogs, gone to the meetings as you asked. You want me to stop eating sugar and flour and lots of other foods. To tell someone else what I plan to eat, and now you want me to weigh and measure too. This is a lot of work, Theresa. And I don’t relish being the odd person out at family gatherings and business functions. What’s the point? What will I get for doing all this work? I don’t want to live my life without sugar! What will I get if I do this?
TRANSFORMATION is the word that comes to my mind.
And I ask:
How many diets have you tried? They all worked for a bit; then you regained the weight. Are you tired of the pain of your obesity? Are you sick of obsessing about what you will or won’t eat next? Are you sick of the cravings and obsessions every day? Are you tired of feeling guilty and like you have failed again? Of hating how you look? Of hating how you feel?
My client also said, “I wonder why I am here, on this earth. What am I supposed to be accomplishing here?”
This is my reply.
As you review the events of the past few years of your life, and think about the future, what is there for you? “As soon as I lose this weight, I’ll…………..”
“As soon as I can wear a suit like that, I’ll start my business.”
“As soon as I get in shape, I’ll take the trip I have dreamed of.”
“If I thought they would hire a fat person, I’d go for that great job.”
“I know there is a plan for me, but I’m not able to do it until I lose this weight, clean my house, change my relationships and get to exercising regularly.”
The list of things we avoid doing because of food issues is as long as we make it. It is time to stop talking about what we are going to do and start doing it. As the Chinese proverb says, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” We know this. We are allowing ourselves to be blocked from the lives we could have by focusing on fighting the food instead of turning away from it.
This is the self-sacrificing mantra of codependency – and it postpones what we could be or would be doing if food wasn’t between us and what we really want. We inadvertently allow it to put our lives on hold. It keeps us from listening – with all our senses – for the call to change, to risk, to start again – to begin to become the wonderful persons we were meant to be.
Is your battle with food keeping you from becoming the person you are destined to be? Are you postponing the wonderful person you could become? Out of fear? Anger? Control? Self-criticism? Disciplining, restricting, depriving, are depressing self-esteem depleters and they keep us stuck in a life of distant dreams.
DON’T MISS OUT ON THE OPPORTUNITY TO CREATE THE LIFE YOU REALLY WANT!!!
Let’s do this together! Find or create a food plan that really, really works for you and helps you meet your goals. Then get on to cleaning up the rest of the trash, resolving the painful issues, and transforming yourself and your life into what you really want it to become.
“There is nothing to fear in this moment, and this is the only real moment there is.” (Jeanne DuPrau)
Recently I complained to my son about changes in my practice, and his answer was, “So how is the book coming?” That would be the book I have been writing since 2004. As you read this, I am in Phoenix, learning to change the behaviors that are keeping me from getting the book done. Have a good week and I hope to see you at the Maris Stella retreat this weekend.
Blessings to you,