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I am sorry for posting this so late, Life just got in the way.

In a recent post, I quoted food abstinence as,

Abstinence is the action of refraining from compulsive eating and compulsive food behaviors while working towards or maintaining a healthy body weight. Spiritual, emotional and physical recovery is the result of living the Overeaters Anonymous Twelve-Step program.”

I have been informed that At the World Service 2019 Business Conference, a new definition for abstinence and recovery was adopted. Here is the new definition of abstinence, which someone kindly sent me:

Updated definitions of “abstinence” and “recovery” in Overeaters Anonymous were adopted at the 2019 World Service Business Conference. The revised policy states: The WSBC 2019 accepts the following definitions:

    1. Abstinence: The act of refraining from compulsive eating and compulsive food behaviors while working towards or maintaining a healthy body weight.
    2. Recovery: Removal of the need to engage in compulsive eating behaviors.

Spiritual, emotional, and physical recovery is achieved through working and living the Overeaters Anonymous Twelve Step program. (Business Conference Policy Manual, 1988b [amended 2019])

I want to apologize for this error and I say “Thank you!” to the person who was kind enough to send it to me.

I know a lot about food, nutrition, eating, and body weight and body nutrient needs. And I have worked with folk in Twelve Step programs since 1988. But, not being a compulsive overeater (I think that’s both good and bad) I am not always made aware of changes our wonderful organizations make.

But this led me to look up other definitions of abstinence and sobriety. The one thing I think they all have in common is the setting aside of the abusive, compulsive, and self-destructive behaviors, and finding a way, usually through the Steps, to maintain that change in behavior and to create a better life for ourselves.

Most of you know about where I come from and what I do about a recovery program, so I won’t repeat that here, beyond saying that my recovery meetings are consistent and regular.

A deep part of recovery for me is self-care. I was not taught that skill as a child, so for me it needs to be thoughtful and deliberate. You may have noticed there are no Instagram posts or Facebook posts this month. I’m sorry. I was dealing with auto accidents, urgent medical issues, an uncooperative virtual assistant, financial issues, and changing secretaries – again.

I felt exhausted and overwhelmed.

So, if clients cancelled Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday this week, I did not try to re-fill the appointments. And I took the Fourth to the Eighth of July for myself. That does not mean I did not work – here I am, but I have also been taking time to talk with friends, read a good novel, get a badly needed pedicure, do some knitting, and spend time relaxing. I also got help to take care of some of the problems that have been upsetting me, and that feels really good.

As I write this it is Saturday and I am heading for my rocker with a good book. I have a date for a pedicure, and a talk with two dear friend/sponsor people. And perhaps there will be a nap in my afternoon. No knitting yet, unfortunately And I need to create more time to spend with my Higher Power, Spirit/Universal Energy -whatever you call it, to get direction and peace.

And I need to take some time to look at what I have been doing to get myself into this space, and what I need to do to stay out of it. Some of it was not avoidable, like auto accidents, but some is about scheduling and time allocation and boundaries with others. They’ll be our next topics.

Please contribute to this conversation.

What works for you?

What helps you stay on course when the going gets tough?

What do you do for physical/emotional/spiritual support? Is it enough? Do you need more? What kind? What will really help you be free and happy?

Please comment; I want to hear your thoughts. And please tell me what I should write about next! Share this with anyone it might help.

Blessings to you,


2 Responses to OOPS! I MADE A MISTAKE!

  1. Jackie Stowell July 12, 2019 at 8:39 pm #

    Exercise is helpful for me. I have regular “dates” with myself to go to the gym Tuesday evening, Thursday morning (with Mike a personal trainer) and Saturday morning. I always grumble a bit (or a lot) on Tuesday afternoon when I leave work and head to the gym instead of home or errands but I’m always glad I did and I look forward to seeing familiar faces there. My shower at the end is pure bliss

  2. Melanie July 12, 2019 at 11:50 pm #

    Love you, Theresa! Thanks for your insights. I had a bad couple of days this week, where I just felt unmotivated, discouraged in general, tired, bored, discontented, anti-social..well, you get the picture. And I overate. It all kicked off on Monday morning when I stepped on the scale and got great news…I’d finally dropped a few more pounds, putting me lower than I’ve been in many years. You’d think I would be overjoyed and super motivated, but it just worked in reverse. Bizarre. I don’t understand it and I also know that “understanding it” is not The Solution. Today I’m fully back on track and taking care of myself better (I did succumb to a deep two-hour nap yesterday which apparently I needed) but it is always astonishing to me how my brain can so easily revert to those dangerous places. .

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