As you read this, it should be December 25, 2018. For those of you who celebrate Christmas, I wish you a blessed and joy-filled holiday.
For those of you who don’t, I wish you a peaceful day of love and joy.
This season of the year has always been hard for me; the extra planning and work, the house and decorations take enough time, but the real issue is the expectations. My expectations of myself, my expectations of others, my expectations for Renaissance, my expectations of the wonderful joys, family, gifts, etc.
“May your days be merry and bright” is what I wish for you. How can we accomplish that? This is the hardest question and often, we do not ask it or answer it for ourselves. And even if we do ask ourselves, we tell ourselves that “I don’t deserve that” or “I don’t have time” or “it costs too much’ or “I need to get all these other things done first”.
This is all about self-care. Here is the sneaky solution to this problem. Self-care is not selfish. Self-care is where you get the power to do the things that need to be done, to do the things you want to do, and to enjoy them.
Now realistically, I can make a to-do list three miles long that is going to be totally impossible to complete in the next five years! If I try to handle all of this, I will be totally unable to enjoy anything, and especially the holidays.
So here are some suggestions that have helped me in the past; I hope they will work for you.
SUPPORT. My daughter is my best advocate for this. She is not afraid to tell me that this is too much and I need to cut it off. Other support people – the doctor, lawyer. accountant; the friend who has been your friend since childhood, trusted family members, and the 12 step folk who understand just where you are coming from are needed NOW. If you need help or suggestions, be welcome to call.
BOUNDARIES/ HELP. If you are overwhelmed with stuff that needs to be done and there is another person in the house who has been watching TV or playing video games for the last two hours, then you have the right to ask him/her to set aside what he/she is doing and render appropriate assistance.
SLEEP. Most people’s bodies need seven to eight hours of sleep a night. So, put yourself in bed, turn off the blue screens, and let the body have some peaceful sleep. If you wake up in the night worrying about how much needs to be done, it may help you to keep a tablet and pen on your nightstand, so you can make the list, turn it over, and sleep peacefully.
REST. We all need to do things we enjoy. What is the holiday program you most wanted to see? Do they still have tickets? What makes the holiday yours? What is it you love to do? Go do that.
PRIORITIES. In today’s comics, a woman who always made rum balls for everyone every year, bought them instead. She was too busy starting her bookstore, and she wanted to spend less time on the Christmas fixin’s. Mostly no one loved her rum balls anyway; so, she did not need to spend all that time, and she did what was important to her. Do what is important to you this season, make what really matters happen.
SPIRITUALITY. This is a spiritual time of year. We have just passed Hanukkah and the winter solstice. It is time for you to sit back, relax, look at what you really want in your life, and how you are going to change your behavior to get it. See this as your peaceful time of transition and let yourself set your goals for 2019 this week. If you have a spiritual practice, now is a good time to re-evaluate it, modify it, or increase it in some special way for the holiday. And do you not have a spiritual practice you want? Now is the time. Begin.
I am out of the office for a bit this holiday; I am making some needed changes and setting up some new stuff. You will be hearing more about these in the future blogs. But please comment below. Tell me what programs or services you liked and didn’t like this year; give me any suggestions you wish, and tell me what did and did not work for you.
I am in the process of hiring a billing service, so that will make all our lives easier and less time consuming; and I am still looking for someone to take charge of social media AND – do you believe this? A new secretary! All suggestions are welcome, and I hope you have a wonderful, joyful, and transformative holiday!
Blessings to you,