This Saturday was the third Saturday of the month. For years, I have had a support group every third Saturday. I love them. I always learn a lot or get to help folk who really need it. This Saturday, we had car issues so my husband dropped me off at work, about an hour early, and took my car. It wasn’t long before I got the phone call. “Theresa, is this the wrong day? No one is here!” Oh No, I thought! This is a really super guest speaker! How many left? So, we called those who had left, and they graciously came back.
The topic was Mindful Meditation and the speaker was a minister I deeply enjoy. But this week, it was hard for me to do my meditations, at home, and I sorta slipped away on time.
Have you ever noticed that when your life is stressful, self-care gets harder?
Rev. Ken did a wonderful program, it was good for everyone, I think, but at the final meditation, something odd happened to me. I felt like I went very deeply inside myself, and I felt like my subconscious mind told me what I was not doing that needs to be done, for me to get what I really want. I came home peaceful and relaxed and happy, and I stayed that way the rest of Saturday and into Sunday. I did a half dozen things I need to do but postponed.
And on Sunday afternoon, I got some news that made me cry. I hurt so badly. I did not deserve that. It is not right or fair or just. And I cried.
And the phone rang. And it was someone I don’t know well.” Theresa,” she said, “I was praying and just felt like I needed to call you. How are you? What’s going on?” I cried some more and told her the truth. It was so good to say the truth to someone who did not judge me; who cared, but did not try to fix it. (It can’t be fixed; we both know that). But the treasure was to be listened to without condemnation, to be heard without being judged, to be valued as I am.
What did I learn?
Self-care is not selfish, but it can be hard to stay in touch with what I need.
I need help to meditate properly. Rev Ken is teaching at my office next month. I will get what I need, and more skills indeed.
(Join us if you wish. See sanefood.com for details.)
I need not be all things to all people. I need to let others help me, but I need to choose those people carefully.
Like dealing with your food, these support measures need to be reinforced on a very regular basis. Self-care with food is somehow harder. When you were a child and skinned your knee, did Mom give you a hug or a cookie? When you have a bad day at work, what do you reach for?
When your stress level gets bigger, or explodes as mine did, you need to take immediate action to increase your support; otherwise your recovery suffers. Your support level needs to be brought up higher than your stress level. It’s wise to have these supports in place: the trustworthy people to talk to, the food already prepared in the fridge, experience with a whole group of meetings you can go to easily, the meditation books and journals you use.
And most important, people you can trust to be honest with when you feel bad.
So why am I writing this in a blog?
In the hopes it will help you. How? It isn’t about food. Or is it?
And who was it who told that woman to call me just then?
Blessings to you,