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This Saturday was the third Saturday of the month. For years, I have had a support group every third Saturday.  I love them. I always learn a lot or get to help folk who really need it. This Saturday, we had car issues so my husband dropped me off at work, about an hour early, and took my car. It wasn’t long before I got the phone call. “Theresa, is this the wrong day? No one is here!”   Oh No, I thought! This is a really super guest speaker! How many left? So, we called those who had left, and they graciously came back.

The topic was Mindful Meditation and the speaker was a minister I deeply enjoy. But this week, it was hard for me to do my meditations, at home, and I sorta slipped away on time.

Have you ever noticed that when your life is stressful, self-care gets harder?

Rev. Ken did a wonderful program, it was good for everyone, I think, but at the final meditation, something odd happened to me. I felt like I went very deeply inside myself, and I felt like my subconscious mind told me what I was not doing that needs to be done, for me to get what I really want. I came home peaceful and relaxed and happy, and I stayed that way the rest of Saturday and into Sunday. I did a half dozen things I need to do but postponed.

And on Sunday afternoon, I got some news that made me cry. I hurt so badly. I did not deserve that. It is not right or fair or just. And I cried.

And the phone rang. And it was someone I don’t know well.” Theresa,” she said, “I was praying and just felt like I needed to call you. How are you? What’s going on?” I cried some more and told her the truth. It was so good to say the truth to someone who did not judge me; who cared, but did not try to fix it. (It can’t be fixed; we both know that). But the treasure was to be listened to without condemnation, to be heard without being judged, to be valued as I am.

What did I learn?

Self-care is not selfish, but it can be hard to stay in touch with what I need.

I need help to meditate properly. Rev Ken is teaching at my office next month. I will get what I need, and more skills indeed.

(Join us if you wish.  See for details.)

I need not be all things to all people. I need to let others help me, but I need to choose those people carefully.

Like dealing with your food, these support measures need to be reinforced on a very regular basis. Self-care with food is somehow harder. When you were a child and skinned your knee, did Mom give you a hug or a cookie? When you have a bad day at work, what do you reach for?

When your stress level gets bigger, or explodes as mine did, you need to take immediate action to increase your support; otherwise your recovery suffers. Your support level needs to be brought up higher than your stress level. It’s wise to have these supports in place: the trustworthy people to talk to, the food already prepared in the fridge, experience with a whole group of meetings you can go to easily, the meditation books and journals you use.

And most important, people you can trust to be honest with when you feel bad.

So why am I writing this in a blog?

In the hopes it will help you. How? It isn’t about food. Or is it?

And who was it who told that woman to call me just then?

Blessings to you,



  1. Mimi February 19, 2019 at 2:51 pm #

    I love your honesty and I thank you for sharing your introspection no matter how difficult or personal. This blog resonates with me deeply – the question of “what did you reach for” at a time of high stress and high anxiety is one that requires honest awareness in order to realize that what I reach for tends not to support self-care. Thank you.

    • H. Theresa Wright February 20, 2019 at 11:19 pm #

      Thank you. We will have more on stress and self care soon.

  2. Cari Heumann February 21, 2019 at 7:13 pm #

    Theresa, thank you so much for your honesty. Your blogs are always so genuine and helpful. Self-Care is so very important to our recovery but also something that many of us find challenging. Meditation is also important to the recovery process, as it allows us to achieve a place of peace and calm. Even though the practice of meditation can sometimes feel different or awkward or even scary, especially to people who have experienced trauma in the past, I believe that it is a way to get into the center of ourselves so that we have the best access to a Higher Power. And accessing a Higher Power is definitely crucial for significant recovery.

    • H. Theresa Wright March 7, 2019 at 2:26 am #

      I agree that the meditation is a really important part of the recovery process. It is scary sometimes, and it is hard to make the time in our busy lives to do this, but the benefits are huge! Thanks for writing.

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