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When I first started to blog, I really wasn’t sure I could produce a blog every week, but I scheduled it and I tried. It worked.

Until New Year’s Eve.

I had been reading this novel. Then someone on TV when the ball dropped said something. And I knew I had to change the blog. So there I was at 1:30 in the morning, deciding I needed to withdraw this blog from my website and redo it. Well, the email provider who sends my blog out did not much like that. And I did not really know what I was doing. And my husband, the computer guru, was already in bed. But I did do something.

And the blog did not go out.

And the whole website got screwed up. And there was no longer a blog page.

And the next morning, can you imagine my husband’s sigh of resignation when I told him what I had done?

“Why did you not just wake me???” he said. “That would have taken me two minutes to tell you what to do.” Well, I did not want to bother him. He was, after all, safely asleep.

After two hours my husband gave up. We called the lovely lady who created the site.  She was busy with family things and could not get to us right away.

Meanwhile, y’all know what issues I have been having with secretaries!

So, this was a tough beginning to the new year for me. The I fell in the first snowfall and the kind orthopedist told me that I would need another surgery. (My Sixth; February First)

I had all kinds of plans for programs and events this year. I had decided that this was going to be my “intentional year” and that I was going to take time to finally focus on the things I wanted to do for you and with you in my practice; and what I wanted to accomplish in my life.

Now I could just walk away and do nothing. Or I could get back to figuring out how to fix things and make this become the year I accomplish my goals, anyway.

What does this have to do with you?

How many times have you made a mistake with your food plan, then given it up and gone on a binge? How many times have you said, “I will get back on track on Monday”? How many times have you not called a support person because “I don’t want to bother her?” How many times have you had a great idea that you really wanted to do, but when the beginning got messed up, you gave up?

I have, too.

But it did not get me anywhere.

It did not get me what I wanted.

Learning to change your behaviors around food is a difficult project – there are so many behaviors and situations. And there are so many feelings attached to food and eating behaviors. And everyone who loves you has feelings about what you should eat. And there are so many diets out there that it is hard to choose just one. And then it does not work or you have trouble following it. And your family wants you to go back to the old way of eating.

You know I have been a dietitian working with people with eating disorders and food addictions and diabetes and other medical problems for thirty years. May I have permission to tell you what I think?

Your food plan should not feel like a straitjacket; it should feel like a comfortable sweatshirt.  It is safe and warm and nurturing. It is what you look forward to putting on after a long day at work. It does not have the foods that set off your brain chemistry and drive you up the wall with cravings and obsessions. It makes you feel safe and warm.

You may have to experiment till you find or create the right one. And some days you may need to wear a tuxedo or a ball gown, and that causes adjustments to your food plan.

And your shoes! Your food plan needs to be like comfortable sneakers or hiking boots. They support you when you travel over rough ground. You would not wear 3-inch heels when you’re going to be climbing a mountain, you’d put on your sneakers and be safe. And if, when you come in, if there is a blister on your toe, you do not cut off the toe, you check what’s wrong with the shoe and fix that.

And has anyone ever called YOU for help and you found it a bother? That hasn’t ever happened to me. I’d rather my clients and friends call me when the problem is little, rather than when it has taken over their lives. So, this week, I hired a new secretary. And then I called three women (two more are on my list) and asked them to support me in what I have to do this year. They all said yes. So, I will have six women (one paid) whose job it is to keep me on track and help me get my year back to what I intended.

I am finally ready to make certain changes in my life. I am determined to do this. It may not be perfect, but I am not giving up. How about you? Will you let me help you with the food?

Next week I am going back to my plan. First, I will teach you how to read food labels. Then I will show you how to figure out what foods to kick out of your food plan. And I will teach you how to make a food plan that feels more like a sweatshirt than a straitjacket.  And I will show you how to adjust things for weddings and such, and how to eat the foods that keep your body healthy and well-nourished and satisfied. And maybe we will get back to the Abstinence Pendulum. And good recipes.  And maybe we can work on some of those eating disorder behaviors that keep tripping you up. And maybe we can have some guest bloggers who are focused on one or two areas of this process. How will that work for you?

Will you comment below and tell me what you think and what you need? And will you share this with anyone who needs it? And, if you pray, will you keep me in your prayers; and I will keep you in mine? And will you tell me what you think of this plan and which part you need the most?

Have a lovely and productive week!

Blessings to you,


22 Responses to I MISSED YOU! DID YOU MISS ME?

  1. Kara Marziali January 22, 2019 at 1:02 pm #

    You are remarkable, Theresa! Thank you for the hope and encouragement to ask for what we need. Sending love & hugs from Rhode Island.

    • H. Theresa Wright January 23, 2019 at 1:05 am #

      Thanks Kara. Hope you are enjoying life in Rhode Island!

  2. Shelley DeRitis January 22, 2019 at 1:07 pm #

    This was an amazing blog filled with honesty and hope. Thank you Theresa!!
    I want to say I’ve missed you but truth be told I don’t always read your blogs so I didn’t realize you were off the grid.
    Prayers are being offered. Take care of yourself, first things first and all will be well. It seems that life already is turning around for you in a positive way.
    I’m back and forth into the food needing desperately to find my sweatshirt and fighting OA and a food plan all the way. I’m praying for the willingness to reach out to you.
    Thanks again for the hope.

    • H. Theresa Wright January 23, 2019 at 1:03 am #

      I would love to help you again, Shelley! Call any time you are ready. But please keep reading the blogs!

  3. Anita January 22, 2019 at 1:57 pm #

    I love and support you. I found everything you say here spot on. Thank you so much!

    • H. Theresa Wright January 23, 2019 at 1:01 am #

      Thank you for your care and support. Blessings to you.

  4. Mimi January 22, 2019 at 2:32 pm #

    Theresa, thank you for sharing. Your persistence, strength, fortitude in dealing with your own life challenges are enviable and imitable traits! But you take it a step further and offer help and support to those in need – truly a strong role model for anyone who has the pleasure to meet or know you. I will certainly take a note from your book (blog) to offer help and support those in need and I will remember you in my prayers!

    • H. Theresa Wright January 22, 2019 at 11:01 pm #

      Thaank you so much!

  5. Mary January 22, 2019 at 2:46 pm #

    I love this post. It is just what I needed today. Very inspiring. I love to wear sweatshirts and sneakers. I want to have I relationship with food like you have described. Thank you for your service. We are lucky to have you!

    • H. Theresa Wright January 22, 2019 at 11:01 pm #

      Hang up the straitjackets! Thank you!

  6. Melanie January 22, 2019 at 2:52 pm #

    Love getting your blog this morning, Theresa. You are such a role model for getting knocked down and getting back up and marching on again, which of course is the exact way you urge us to handle a break in our abstinence. (I’m horrified, however, that you need another surgery. I’m almost ready to donate a foot to you, if that were possible!)
    THANK YOU for your insights and encouragement. I feel like everything you’ve been saying for years finally accumulated enough in my head that at last it drove out all the negativity and self-pity that kept me stuck for so long. No need to try to make any resolutions this New Year… I’m actually living the happy and abstinent life I wanted. Amazing! ❤️

    • H. Theresa Wright January 22, 2019 at 10:59 pm #

      How wonderful! Enjoy the freedom!

  7. Mary Foushi January 22, 2019 at 4:45 pm #

    Theresa, wow, I’m so sorry the orthopedist said you need another surgery. My heart dropped when I read that. AND I love the way you incorporated your personal experience into what people like me need to do to stay clean from active craving and obsession. Having a clear food plan—not of my individual making—gives me freedom, peace of mind, and a resource for when I’m confused and/or need help. Bless you ❤️
    Mary Foushi

    • H. Theresa Wright January 22, 2019 at 10:58 pm #

      Thanks and blessings to you, Mary

  8. Anne Osada January 22, 2019 at 5:38 pm #

    Dearest Theresa,

    Thank you so much for your kind and generous heart … and your wisdom, knowledge and years of invaluable experience that continue to benefit everyone with whom you come into contact. I first “met” you by hearing you speak on an OA podcast when I was searching for answers two years ago. Luckily I was living on the East Coast and had the privilege of working with you in person – as a client – to design an OA “food plan” before I attended my first OA meeting. It’s 16 months later … I’m at goal weight, still abstinent, and living back home in California feeling peaceful and happy with my life and my food – something I never thought would happen. I’m so glad you decided to keep going with your goals for 2019 – you inspire and motivate us all. Blessings to you. ♥️

    • H. Theresa Wright January 23, 2019 at 1:00 am #

      Thank you so much,Anne! I am so glad you are doing well! Enjoy your new life!

  9. Carole Mayback January 22, 2019 at 6:03 pm #

    Hi, Theresa:

    Glad you are back! I like this article a lot. Your honesty is so refreshing. It is good to hear that you are maintaining a sense of humor through your technical trials and health challenges. I remember all too well what it was like to have a plan get all messed up and say “F-it”, but I also know that doesn’t work in the long run… Eventually we must deal with the mess.

    I have been abstinent from compulsive eating for 20+ years, and over the years have let go of sweeteners, and sodas (the body stores toxins in FAT cells!). Most recently, I changed my eating to cleanse my liver, because a friend encouraged me to try it as a solution to starting to put on weight again, bloating after every meal. She is now my health coach and is helping me with the cleanse.

    She has suggested some big changes to my food plan. I talked with her about how important my abstinence is, yet I also know that I need to let go of the familiar cozy sweatshirt, and try on a new style, based on my health needs. The change has shaken me up and made me question the way I had been eating, but it has also given me hope that I will soon feel better.

    So … I am on completely new ground. I am doing the cleanse with the support of my friends in recovery, and I like the results, but honestly, I am getting tired of all the salads! I plan to talk with my coach about how to change up my choices. I think some recipes would be very helpful to people like me who need to shake things up a bit to stay on the beam! Thank you.

    ~ Carole Mayback

    Honor Your Health Wellness Coaching by Carole

    • H. Theresa Wright January 22, 2019 at 10:58 pm #

      Best wishes! We do have three little recipe books I wrote if you think they would help. Just call the office and we’ll send them. Good luck with the rest. This is Tough Stuff!

  10. Cari Heumann January 26, 2019 at 2:35 pm #

    Dear Theresa,
    It’s only a week after this blog was posted so I suppose my reply is better late than never! The benefit of your food plan and guidance throughout my recovery has been invaluable and I could never thank you enough.
    I admire your honesty and transparency as you encounter and deal with your own adversity. This is what a role model does. You are teaching us how to find strength in our weakness. Thank you for showing us how to walk the walk and not just talk the talk. We must all never give up! Love and blessings to you!

    • H. Theresa Wright January 28, 2019 at 1:36 am #

      Thank you for the kind words. I have so needed in my life to “walk the walk” and it has made my life incredibly better than it could have become. I sometimes think that some of our struggles are able to become gifts that help us grow. Blessings to you in your walk.

  11. Linda Strayer January 28, 2019 at 12:37 pm #

    Thanks Teresa for this lovely blog and great program plan for the year. I’m looking forward to meeting with you again this evening after so many years. Will be praying for your successful knee surgery.

    • H. Theresa Wright January 31, 2019 at 2:23 am #

      Thank you so much! It means a lot to me.

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