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Handling Hard Stuff

Do you ever have things happen in your life which you did not want, do not like, and never wished for? Hard stuff.

And do you eat over it? Well, maybe I should say, how do you keep yourself from eating over it? Well, what else should I do? Here is a long list of suggestions for handling miserable unpleasant situations. You don’t have to do all of them in the next five minutes, but when you are feeling stressed and upset, take a look at the list and try a few. They go from immediate to longer term.

Remember, your food plan is supposed to be like a comfortable sweatshirt, not a straitjacket. Accurate is better than perfect, my favorite lawyer used to say. So, give yourself the awareness that perfection is not going to work here. And be aware that the food plan is only the first piece of recovery

  • Take enough time for you. Even if you just walk away from it all for five minutes of deep breathing, that will help.
  • Probably you are powerless over the situation and its consequences. You are NOT powerless over your response to them. You get to choose what you will do. Take a hot bath or go to the convenience store? Your choice.
  • If you eat, you ruin your chances of thinking clearly. When you are dealing with hard stuff, you need every brain cell up, running, and ready. You need to be able to think clearly enough to decide how you are going to handle the situation in a way that works well for you.
  • Get more information. Ask Dr Google how others have fixed the problem.
  • Call anyone you know who specializes in this stuff. Or call everyone you can think of who will know who specializes in this stuff. Get referrals.
  • Now call the people you trust and talk about your thoughts and feelings and options. This is not a time to go it alone; you need effective help.
  • Remember it is not your choice, not your fault…….. even if your behavior contributed, you never wanted a difficult or painful result.
  • Pray even if you do not believe in it. Call on Mother Nature and the good forces of the Universe to help you. A part of your mind listens. Depak Chopra calls it “the Observer”. This is the real you – the person you truly are. This good healthy, caring part of you needs to take charge and make the decisions for how to handle the situation.
  • This is also the part of you that knows what foods and food behaviors are good for you, and which are the result of past times. Let that part of you decide what to eat.
  • My favorite spiritual teacher, Wayne Dyer, said that we should pay close attention to what we say to ourselves in the last five minutes before we fall asleep at night. Our subconscious mind will marinate on those ideas for the rest of the night. So, pay attention to what goes into your subconscious mind at night. Make it be what you want to see growing in your life.
  • And pay attention to what thoughts you allow to take over your mind. Let them be good and healthy and lead you to the life you really want. A part of your mind listens. This is the part that can lead you to who you want to become. Look for that part of you. Let that part of you decide what to do.
  • Take the actions that “The Observer” wants you to take. Do not allow the negative thoughts to control your actions. (even if I DO want to strangle him, I am not allowed!). Find the choices that lead you to health and happiness.
  • Your support people can help you make the right decisions. Be aware that with every decision you make, there are results, and sometimes consequences. You have control over your decisions; but you also receive the consequences. Let the decision lead you to the life you want.
  • And when the situation is handled, reward yourself. A good book, a time for you, a time with friends, whatever gives you pleasure.

Please comment. Tell us what works for you.

Blessings to you,


16 Responses to Handling Hard Stuff

  1. Leila July 19, 2023 at 10:58 am #

    Great post! This is just what I needed to hear as I’m in some ‘hard stuff’ right now.

    • H. Theresa Wright July 20, 2023 at 2:06 pm #

      Good! Stay safe and keep in touch!

  2. Kara Marziali July 19, 2023 at 11:18 am #

    Theresa, they say God gives us just what we need at the exact time we need it. I am facing some “hard stuff” and yesterday I had the vague thought that a particular sugary food might help me forget my troubles. Gratefully, I can think about the consequences of those actions and the effect such food would have on my body and brain. I spoke to a Program friend and we shared our collective feelings about sticking with the food plan that you helped us design. I woke up this morning grateful for abstinence and thanked my Higher Power for that gift. Then when I read your post I was reminded again how much easier it is to get through life when excess and “alcoholic” foods do not clog my connection to nature and to God. Thank you! Enjoy the remainder of your summer!

    • H. Theresa Wright July 20, 2023 at 2:04 pm #

      Thank you for your kind words. I am so glad to be able to help you! Say HI to that wonderful sponsor and enjoy your abstinence!

  3. brenda firebaugh July 19, 2023 at 5:41 pm #

    Wow this was meant for me. Yes, learning to not do it alone. I have been thru a rough time in the last couple of months. I know I contributed to this by being too trusting in Doctors. I finally got another Dr which helped a lot. I talked to other people with insomnia and learned a lot. I did not sleep or have an appetite the past 2 months. I have found out different medications affect people differently. I was very naive as I had not been on any meds ever.

    I am doing much better and even though my eating got off track, I was lucky to be able to eat dry toast and crackers for a while. I was given sleeping pills to help me deal with bp pills I should not have been on and then got sick and had to take nausea pills. It has been horrible. I thought I would taper off but when no pill helped me and made me worse, I just went off everything and stayed up at night a little later and this worked.

    Theresa, I think you missed your calling, you should have been a psychologist, you told me you will sleep again, when I was so afraid this would never happen, I was so scared. Well I am now eating better, have more clarity and learned some lessons along the way. Yes, we need people and we need to eat right and we will get thru stuff. You have been so encouraging at times when I really needed it. I am happy now to have an appetite if you can believe that. Sleeping and eating we take for granted. I am happy to now be able to do both. Life is beginning to feel good again, thanks for all your help and hard work.

    I never thought I would go thru medical issues like this and Yes, we need people. I remember you talking about Acceptance when I was dealing with 2 adult children, dont like it but accept it. I finally got some peace and let go. I have also had to accept that I did the best I could with this medical stuff, accepted it was bad and got people to help me and especially my Higher Power which I call God. I am seeing light at the end of the tunnel.

    • H. Theresa Wright July 20, 2023 at 2:06 pm #

      Thank you so much for your kind words. I am so glad to be able to help you.

  4. brenda firebaugh July 19, 2023 at 6:30 pm #

    Just thinking of something else, I loved it when you wrote about this. Do you have a voice inside your brain that says you are fat, stupid, ugly, incompetent, disorganized, hopeless, unworthy, and useless?

    This is the negative stuff I was telling myself. Then I stopped, yes, we can work thru these things, we are smart! Thanks Theresa for all your help, cant wait for Wacky Wenesday.

    • H. Theresa Wright July 20, 2023 at 1:52 pm #

      Yes, the voice who lives in my brain is named Gertrude, and she has quite a reputation for saying rude things to me. And I consult with “Wise Woman”, who I want to behave like, and “The Observer” the rational part of me. And then there is George, my HP! Naming the parts makes it easier to look for the information I need at the time; it focuses me into that part of the brain I want to access, and helps me be clear about where I am in my process.

  5. Sherri Reveal July 19, 2023 at 6:54 pm #

    I thought I was your favorite lawyer, but I don’t remember saying, “Accurate is better than perfect.” (Wish I had.)

    • H. Theresa Wright July 20, 2023 at 1:45 pm #

      I am sorry. You are precious to me. Emil was with me in the early days of the practice; he left the earth in 1993. As I think of you both, Sherri, you are so much like him! What would you like me to call you?

  6. Linda Middleswarth July 24, 2023 at 9:51 pm #

    Thank you for your blog Theresa. I really do appreciate receiving it. This very topic came up amongst a few of us last week and this is helpful to our conversation.

    • H. Theresa Wright July 25, 2023 at 12:14 am #

      Thank you! I am so glad it is helpful! And so good to hear from you!

  7. Anna L July 26, 2023 at 9:59 pm #

    How might my life have been different if I would’ve opened this email last week when I received it? I don’t know… What I do know is that in that struggle I came to, or came back to, so many of the things you mention in this post. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I’m printing this and going to cut it up and put the suggestions in strategic places

    • H. Theresa Wright July 31, 2023 at 11:28 pm #

      You are welcome. I am so glad this was helpful to you.

  8. Annie July 31, 2023 at 11:45 am #

    Just what I needed just when I needed it!!

    • H. Theresa Wright July 31, 2023 at 11:26 pm #

      Thank you! Glad to help!

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