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Dealing With Difficult Stuff

I told you last week that I am moving my office in the next two weeks. Some might say I shouldn’t talk to you about MY problems, but I am amazed at how closely my problems with this move mimic some things you have told me. So let me share a couple of principles I believe in; and show you how they are working in my life and how you might fit them into your life.

#1. Proper prior planning prevents positively poor performance.

I cannot do this without figuring out what needs to be done and putting those things in order. So, I have done a lot of list-creating about what needs to be done and tried to put it in order. I have discussed with family and supporters how to get help that they are willing and able to provide. My husband’s job title is “Project Manager” so he has the skills to help me do this.

#2. Feelings are neither right or wrong or good or bad; they simply are. We need to listen to them, honor them, and decide what to do with them.

I am packing up every paper, every piece of furniture, every decorative art object that I have accumulated in the past thirty years. Charts of clients who were precious to me are an overwhelming example. I remember all the hard work we did together and wonder how you are today. And all the charts more than ten years old, back to 1987, need to be handled and shredded.

All the teaching materials I have used need to be handled and sorted. There are good memories and sad memories. And I am seeing the changes needed in my priorities and behaviors. And in the direction of my practice.

This is a huge change for me; I have been in this office for sixteen years. I am asking myself what is special and important from the past 34 years that I want to carry into the future? And what is it exactly that I want to create in the new Renaissance?

#3. Selfcare is absolutely essential to good decisions.

I have not made all of these decisions yet, but here is what I am doing:

Rest. I cancelled all my clients for the next two weeks, to give me time to process papers, arrangements and feelings. I plan for 7 to 8 hours of sleep every night and for some afternoon naps too. And I got a new novel and a new knitting project!

The Food. The grocery took a hit today; all my meals and snacks, the foods I most enjoy, will be made up and ready long before you read this. It is always important to me to have all my brain cells up, running, and ready, when I see clients and when I make serious decisions. For you, the descent into your binge and drug foods will add a problem that you don’t want, don’t need, and likely cannot handle. Eating abusively hurts our body, mind and spirit and keeps us from functioning well. I know that with good food, prepared and ready to go, I will be stronger and better able to cope with this stress.

Boundaries with others. I saw a number of offices. This is not the nicest, classiest office available. Many were too large or too expensive. But the building is owned by my current landlord. He knows me well and is willing to do what I need to have to make this office safe and comfortable for me. I can rely on him.

Then there are Comcast, the shredders, the movers, the carpet cleaners. I need to be careful, meticulous, and even somewhat demanding to get the things I need. And there is a really important word, I suspect you hate to use it, as do I, but now is when I need it. The word is “NO.” One syllable, a full sentence, and I need to insist. This is how we get what we need.

Support. There are lots of people I can call and vent to. And there are many willing to support me and hold me up. There are special groups I rely on. I am grateful for their help.

Spirituality. This is a time when I must reach out to my Higher Power harder, longer, more determinedly than ever. “If this is not your will for me, Boss, block it, please!” And I ask others who care to remind the Boss that I need His help. “Please come in and act in this matter. Show me what to do and how to do it.”

Now why am I writing this blog about my life events to you? This is not the kind of material I usually share. I am doing it because I hope some tiny piece of it will help you see that you are not alone. That the selfcare, support, careful food, spirituality, rest and planning are not something unnatural or only for the “sick ones”. We all benefit from working on these principles. And maybe you will find a hint that will help you. Please comment and tell me if this is helpful to you.

Have a beautiful week!

Blessings to you,

Theresa

p.s. – Look what the Dietetics Association sent me!

8 Responses to Dealing With Difficult Stuff

  1. Theresa(TERRI) HARSHMAN September 7, 2021 at 11:00 am #

    Thank you. Dealing with life on life terms is exactly what I need to be reading. I’m not moving but going thru huge changes. I don’t deal with change, GOOD or BAD VERY WELL.
    Again thanks for sharing real life situations.

    • H. Theresa Wright September 7, 2021 at 11:11 pm #

      Change is always hard because we cannot reliably predict the outcome. I hope your changes turn out really well for you.

  2. Edward Rubin September 7, 2021 at 5:09 pm #

    Yes this does help me. Good luck in your move. I will put you on my prayer list.

    • H. Theresa Wright September 7, 2021 at 11:09 pm #

      Glad it helps. Thanks for your prayers!

  3. Pam Keebler September 7, 2021 at 11:28 pm #

    Good Morning my amazing inspiring friend. What a great blog to remind me that
    we all have “stuff”. I wish you the best in this one of life major events happening for you.
    Hugs,
    Pam

    • H. Theresa Wright September 7, 2021 at 11:41 pm #

      Thank you for your good wishes. This is scary and chaotic, but moving along well. Hoping it all works out for the highest good.
      Theresa

  4. Sherri Stahl September 8, 2021 at 12:50 am #

    Hi, Theresa,

    Congratulations on finding a new place and best wishes on everything involved with your new beginning.. I loved your article..The food is the first thing to go for me, too, when the stress happens, so I appreciated your comments about making your food prep a priority in addition to other self care practices.. Such good advice. Thank you.

    Sherri S.

    • H. Theresa Wright September 8, 2021 at 1:08 am #

      You are welcome. I am glad you were able to benefit from my comments. Self care in struggling times is the most difficult to do, and the best way out!

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