Conversations With Gertrude

Gertrude is the name I have given to Abby’s addiction when it wants to talk with her.

GERTRUDE:   Go ahead, it’s been a really long time since you had this to eat.

ABBY:   You’re right, it has been a long time.  But it’s not on my food plan.

GERTRUDE:   It’s not fair!  Everybody else can have what they want, why can’t YOU just this one time?

ABBY:   That’s true, and food is not a moral issue, but I don’t think I should.

GERTRUDE:   Come on, you’ll only feel deprived and eat more later.

ABBY:   You’re right.  I don’t want to feel deprived, but this is not about deprivation, it’s about choices.  Let’s think it through.

What good stuff will I get If I eat this?

What good stuff will I get if I don’t eat it?

Sorry, Gertrude, not today!

GERTRUDE:   Chocolate always gives you energy and makes you feel good.  You need something to wake you up.

ABBY:   You’re right, I do need more energy.  But chocolate energy only lasts a little while.  What would really give me energy that lasts?

GERTRUDE:   Come on, you can handle a little bit.  Just one won’t hurt. 

ABBY:   OK, Gertrude, let’s think THAT through.

Other times I’ve eaten this, I have binged.

If I eat it and binge, what do I lose?

If I eat it and don’t binge, what do I gain?

It’s not worth it, Gertrude, I’m not doing it!

GERTRUDE:   But I’m tired of feeling deprived and different and unloved!

ABBY:   Face it, Gertrude, I’m not like everyone else.  I don’t lie, cheat, steal or sell cocaine.  And I don’t do sugar because the life I get without it is better than the life I get with it.  Now, let’s talk seriously about why you’re feeling so unloved.