The holidays are upon us! What are you wishing for this holiday season? How do you want to feel when the holidays end? It is so wonderful to create abstinent holidays. Take this opportunity to really enjoy this special, spiritual experience. Whatever it is that you most want and love, plan now to put that into your celebration. For many of us, people are the purpose. There are some people we want to spend more time with, and some folks we could do with less of. For others, having peace and solitude is more important. Whatever matters to you most, plan for it. Reach for it now.
For people with any flavor of eating disorder, the holidays can be a time of conflict. Memories of foods from past years, whether good or bad memories, are powerful motivators. And the holidays are usually full of high-calorie, low-nutrient foods with which we struggle.
So plan for your abstinence — plan the food, and plan the festivities. Create a positive position for yourself. Plan those activities you really want and enjoy. Give yourself the gift of time and attention, hope and peace that you really deserve. Here are some hints and suggestions.
Make a list. What makes the season important to you? Plan now to make time to do the things that are important to you, the things that will make your holiday special and precious.
Plan activities that are not food based. What else would you enjoy? A trip to the farm to cut down your own tree? A hayride or a train ride? A walk through the mall to see the decorations? A drive around the neighborhood to look at the lights? If it’s the ballet, or a quiet hour alone with a good book, or a religious observance – or not going to a religious observance – give yourself some time to do what matters to you.
Plan appropriate support. You need people you can trust to hold you up and help you stay focused. Keep going to meetings. Plan the ones that work best for you into your schedule. Be more aware of when the folk you trust can be available to listen and support.
Give yourself a break every day. Take ten minutes out just for you. Breathe, listen, do whatever you wish that is not food and makes you feel good. Take the time to smell the pine tree or pet the cat.
Plan your food carefully. Make a grocery trip now that stocks up on the regular, healthy foods you enjoy. Buy all of your staples now. Get enough shampoo, toilet paper and paper towels as well. Make a soup or stew you can freeze for emergency meals. Prepare a couple of extra meals so you will have food on hand if you need it.
Do not forget your fruits and vegetables. Try frozen fruit (especially cherries!) and frozen mixtures of vegetables. Buy something new, maybe a fresh pineapple and broccoli slaw for your fruit and vegetables one week.
Pay attention to timing of your meals. Do not allow yourself to go more than five hours without eating; that will only make you tired and cranky. Always expect there to be a delay in eating time; have a metabolic if you need to; never go hungry.
Call ahead wherever you plan to eat out and get specifics about the menu. Restaurants publish their menus on their websites or will fax them to you; caterers and managers will answer questions and plan appropriate foods for you; dear Aunt Sally will tell you what’s in her special chicken – but only if you take the time to ask in advance. This way you will have time to adjust your food plan and your expectations to the reality.
Go to special events prepared. Expect the meal to be an hour later than planned – minimum. Bring a platter of fruit or vegetables to share. Go late or leave early. Give yourself permission to skip the cocktails or to just go home when you are tired or tempted.
Make a non-food agenda for each event you attend. Aside from food, why am I here? What do I want to accomplish in this event? Whom do I want to see? What do I want to talk about? For example, “I am going to this event because it is the big family party and it will hurt my Mom too much if I do not show up. I want to meet Cousin Tilley’s new baby; I want to check out Uncle Joe’s new wife, and I want to spend some time with Grandmom who is 83 this winter. In addition, I need to ask Charlie for a referral to that professional. I am leaving early, surely by 8 PM to get to my meeting. I told Mom already that I have an 8:30 commitment.
Prepare an answer for those who ask, “Can’t you have just one?” Try responses like, “Not this year” or “Not right now” or just, “No, thank you”. Or, my personal favorite… “Why is this important to you?”
Take a friend with you when you must do hard stuff. Or bookend your difficult times: commit to calling someone both before and after the event. If you know someone is waiting for your call, you are likely to keep your word.
Put good stuff in your life. Write yourself a letter to yourself and tell your self all the good things you have accomplished this year. Thank yourself for your hard work and acknowledge how much you have grown. Write thank you notes to the people who have helped you and stood behind you this year. Write a list of all the things for which you are grateful this year.
Make a spiritual observance that is meaningful to you. Whether that is church, a supportive spiritual meeting, or some time alone with your Higher Power, do something that is meaningful and spiritual for you at this time. Pray. Visit a Living Nativity if that would provide peace to you. Meditate. Find special holiday services at your church or synagogue. Thank God or the Universe for all of the good things in your life. Let yourself feel the love of the season.
There are only a few days of this holiday scene and they pass quickly. Your addiction will tell you this will last forever; it will not. Sometimes it helps to count the days till the season is over; it makes it feel less permanent. Stay present in this day and this moment. Welcome moments of joy. Enjoy. Believe in yourself. Make this holiday the beginning of the best chapter of your life.
Call me if you need more help. I believe in you!!
p.s. – We have a free group of sugar-free, flour-free holiday recipes for you to enjoy. If you want a copy, please call Marian at 610-275-3699 or email her at email@example.com.