Are you getting the results you really want in your life? Are you following the food plan and feeling comfortable and happy? Are you enjoying your life today?
In these blogs, we have been talking about goal setting and changing behavior. How is that working for you? What has happened for me is, from seven items on my behaviors list, I have grown to twelve. Now it is too much and I am not keeping up with it effectively. So what I need to do now is change my list; get back to seven only – I was able to do those reliably – and focus on what I really want in my life right now.
And what do you say when you talk to your self about your goals and behaviors? One of the things we often do is beat our selves up, telling ourselves we are stupid, lazy, and incompetent. “I hate myself; I don’t want to live in this body any longer” “I can follow the food plan for two to three weeks, then I am off and bingeing again.” “I can never get it right!”
When we allow ourselves to talk to our selves this way, we hurt our selves. These are messages from the past; they are called ANTS – Automatic Negative Thoughts. We cannot always and immediately stop them, but we can change our responses to them.
Wayne Dyer taught me that whatever I say when I talk to myself is what I draw into my life. When I say how lazy and stupid I am, my subconscious mind thinks I want to be lazy and stupid, and sets me up to behave that way. When you say, “I am not able to follow the food plan” your subconscious mind thinks you do not want to do this, and sets you up to fall off your food plan.
Dr Dyer said it this way:
State your intention to live a happy, contented life; place it squarely in the most prominent place within your imagination, and live from that place as if it were your reality. When circumstances and/or your five senses try to influence you that you’re wrong, gently and with loving confidence let the fearful or naysaying thoughts drift by like passing clouds as you focus on your nourishing imagination, which cannot be altered without your agreement. Neville speaks without hesitation on this matter: “The promise is definite that if you are shameless in your impudence in assuming that you already have that which your senses deny, it shall be given unto you—your desire shall be attained.”
Sometimes our negative thoughts can get really loud. They tell us how stupid and hopeless we are. Then we have to draw effective boundaries with our thoughts. We have very little control over our emotions and over our ANTS. But we do have control over voluntary thoughts, and we can control all of our behaviors. Some of our thoughts are voluntary behaviors. So I tell clients, “If you would not say it to your boss, to your best friend, to your child or grandchild, then do not say it to yourself.” I believe so strongly that what we say when we talk to ourselves becomes true in our lives.
In the very instant that you hear a negative thought, say words like,” STOP! Cancel! Toss that tape! I don’t want to hear this!” then replace them with your own positive thoughts. And before you go to sleep at night, tell your subconscious mind the positive things you want it to create in your life. Use only positive words and sentences.
Next blog I will teach you how to write positive sentences about food, eating, food plan, and body weight. And about how important accountability is. Checking off my little list every day keeps me focused and on track. Committing the day’s food or thoughts will really help you. Try it this week, if you don’t already do it regularly.
And yes, to answer a question, I WILL be talking about food and abstinent eating here! And on that topic, have you tried the Cara Cara navel oranges? Are they in your supermarket yet? They’re delicious! Sweet, juicy, no seeds, and this incredibly gorgeous pink color! Yum! And lots of nutrients! Try them if you see them!
For now, have a really good week, and please send me your comments below. I am so eager to hear from you!!
Blessings to you,